(The above is not me, I wish it was.)
Running, one of the easiest forms of exercise.
The gist is putting one foot in front of the other, building up speed until you find a comfortable pace.
So, this morning I put on my 'running' gear (a strappy top over a bulging bra, and some stretchy leggings that just about held everything in), and took off for the Sussex Downs.
After 10 seconds I learnt something, after a minute I learnt a little more, after three minutes I had learnt five things, so I stopped, sat down on a patch of grass and wrote this (while panting like a wild dog)...
1. Hobnobs are not a stable breakfast choice.
I had a high for about 10 seconds, where I thought I was a lion. I felt so good, the day was bright and beautiful, the grass around me was lush and green, my feet were moving at a fast pace, I was bounding, happy, elated. Then 11 seconds in, I felt exhausted. My feet felt like lead weights, my arms went limp by my sides and my lungs were fit to burst.
Next time: Will have Weetabix for breakfast.
2. Appropriate clothing is important.
Wearing a push up bra while attempting to go about a normal life is not easy. Well, try doing some form of exercise while wearing one -actually on second thoughts...don't. My two black eyes are pretty painful. Leggings are also an awful choice to run in, they kept falling down and in order to keep my muffin top in I had to pull them up beyond my waist and kick my legs out to the side a little. I must have looked like a weird half human half Bambi creature. I apologise if I subjected you to that if you were out this morning.
Next time: Buy proper running gear.
3. I got fat
The last time I went running was...hmm, a while ago. Possibly as long as a year ago, but I thought I would be able to do what I used to do and run for a whole 20 minutes at a time. Nope, nope, totally not. Bits of my body wobbled that I didn't even know could wobble. Everything moved like jelly, even when I stopped I felt like I was on a vibrating machine and it took a while for me to gain my footing again. That is why I had to sit down to write this- health and safety reasons.
Next time: Try running for a minute at a time.
4. Don't run with a husky.
Any idiot knows that when a husky wants to run, they RUN. So, when I tried to do my version of a run, my dog Hades was not impressed. Yes, he is a pulling dog and I know how quick he can be so I should have left him at home but I thought it would be fun. HA, no. He literally turned and huffed at me as I was puffing away behind him. He even had to stop so I could catch up with him and he was on a lead. He won't even look at me now as we sit here. The only thing I have in common with him is we both pant the same.
Next time: Leave the husky at home.
5. I got inspired.
I can't really wear headphones as the little nob things always fall out of my ears (I must have exceptionally large ear holes), so I was able to take in all of my surroundings. I moo-ed back at the cows, I said hello to birds sitting on fences, I waved at people in the distance and I felt truly happy and inspired. I have also written loads of notes for more blog posts, you lucky things. So even though my run didn't quite go according to plan, I'm not going to give up because even my feeble attempt today has left me wanting to go out and run again tomorrow.
Next time: Just go for it.
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